American Glossary
NatCon — If it walks like a con, and talks like a con, then it’s probably a con.
Mid — What we’re all secretly shooting for.
Vibe Coding — AI brain-rot.
Cringe — A marker of your own fatal insecurity, which will keep you from producing anything of note.
Al Qaeda — Twenty-five years after 9/11, their lawyer represents New York City.
Two-Party System — When the fat theater kid runs against the millionaire sociopath and you don’t know which party either one represents.
Public Lands — Privatized by Big Oil.
Venezuela — Privatized by Big Oil.
The Mossad — If they were really trying to kill you, you wouldn’t still be talking about it.
Chronic Venous Insufficiency — Keep on hoping.
…America by the Numbers
6 — Gallons of orange juice consumed per American in 2005
2.9 — Gallons of orange juice consumed per American in 2025
600 — Number of liters of “blue water” (irrigation) required to produce 1 kg of beef
12,000 — Number of liters of “blue water” required to produce 1 kg of almonds
.004 — Average dollar amount artists get paid per stream by Spotify, before the labels, managers, etc. take their cut
.091 — Average dollar amount songwriters/publishers are paid per play on terrestrial radio
250-300 — Total calories in a quart (3 cups) of blueberries
6,280 — Total calories in the Little Ceasar’s large two-for-one Stuffed Crazy Crust pepperoni PizzaPizza deal
67,000 — Number of American manufacturing jobs lost …
Best New Immigrant Dishes Using State Animals and Birds
Alabama — Black Bear Pepián
Alaska — Whale Mantu
Arizona — Ringtail Tacos
Arkansas — Northern Mockingbird Pupusa
California — California Quail Adobo
Colorado — Bighorn Sheep Criollo
Connecticut — American Robin Moambé
Delaware — Gray Fox Callaloo
Florida — Manatee Griot
Georgia — Right Whale Curry
Hawaii — Miso Monk Seal
Idaho — Bluebird in chocolate sauce
Illinois — White-Tailed Deer Bigos
Indiana — Northern Cardinal Thar Hin
Iowa — Muskrat with Salatat Dakwa
Kansas — Bison Borscht
Kentucky — Grey Squirrel …
