Alabama — “So how many of Nick Saban’s ‘5 enemies of greatness’ are here with us for dinner tonight?” Alaska — Curing the mukluk in Grandpa’s Hennessey. Arizona — Replacing Grandma’s trazodone with sugar pills. Arkansas — Calling “Woo, pig, sooie!” at your sister-in-law when she brings in snacks during the game. California — Expressing a preference for women-only locker rooms at the day spa. Colorado — Saying “No, me niego a pagar el alquiler a Tren de Aragua” when the man with the tattooed face arrives to collect the rent. Connecticut — Inviting that slut Charlotte von Muffeling to Christmas Eve dinner. Delaware — Forgetting the laptop at the repair shop. Florida — Putting meth in cousin Christopher’s stocking at the half-way house. Georgia — Inviting all Jermaine Dupri’s baby-mommas to the same kiddie party. Hawaii — Using Oprah’s private road. Idaho — “Jesus Christ was a Jew named Yeshua.”  Illinois — “Chief Keef ain’t no hitter.”  Indiana — “The way I see it, being 3/5ths of a man …