Bouquets and Brickbats
Bouquet
To Sam Shoemaker, who made — or grew — a kayak entirely from mushrooms and paddled it 26.4 miles from Catalina Island in California to San Pedro. Accompanying Shoemaker on his voyage, the longest open-water journey in a mushroom kayak ever recorded, was a 50-foot-long fin whale, which breached the water and then followed the kayak for three miles. “It was just like a psychedelic experience,” the artist and mycologist said afterwards, without admitting whether or not he himself was actually on mushrooms.
While dreams of replacing plastic with fungal materials and launching colonies of floating mushroom houses may never be realized, the experience of seeing a whale up close while paddling across the open seas in a new-age boat made of mushrooms certainly seems like a decent-enough bedtime story to tell future generations of Shoemakers. …
American Glossary
Bella Ciao — Anti-fascist anthem appropriated by wanna-be fascists
Charlie — In France it was Charlie Hebdo, in America it was Charlie Kirk
Free Speech — Not free if you get shot
Furries — No litter-boxes in our classrooms
Jews — Jesus was Jewish
NGO worker — A billionaire pays your rent
Resentment — The new spirit of America, regardless of race, class, gender, or political orientation
Toxic food dyes — Turns out that they aren’t necessary ingredients in our food after all
Tucker Carlson — Says he was mauled by demons
X — Post here to lose your job
Crime Blotter
Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!
The Memphis Police Department was investigating an incident where a man was reportedly being “stomped out” in the middle of the street on a Sunday afternoon. The incident occurred at the intersection of Latham Street and Lucerne Place, where officers responding to a call found a shirtless man gasping for air with a bloodied face. The man who apparently did the stomping had already left the scene in a black sedan, like a character in a 1970s blues song.
Our point here is that while saying the words “stomped out” or “stomped him out” may sound badass, the reality can be brutal, especially if you are the one getting stomped.
Baton Rouge Livestream
A Baton …
