Squirrels, Rise Up!
It takes a worried squirrel to make liberals go nuts
They have nothing to lose but their Elodonts
The squirrel is a lonesome, worried, restless creature. It lives on its own, without allies, without protectors. It has its teeth and claws. It has its acorns. It hoards its acorns, as many as it can gather, because, for a squirrel, the future is uncertain, and it knows not to count on help, including human help, should times get hard. Occasionally, though, human beings do take squirrels as pets, easing the lot of these most anxious animals, with fascinating but complicated results. America should hardly need reminding that it has been just over a year since P’Nut, the most famous pet squirrel in history with 500,000 followers on Instagram, suffered an unjust, untimely death at the hands of New York State wildlife officials who’d ripped him from the happy home provided for him by Mark Longo, his fellow influencer. Having learned to rely on Longo for necessities, P’Nut went on to entertain the world with his acrobatic talents and his antic ways. Merrily leaping from armchair to TV …